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Fleet of UFOs Spotted | Fletcher's Blog

Real Questions from Fans

By Fletcher Jain

Dear Fletch,

I spotted a fleet of UFOs, about 60 of them, flying single file. I attached a photo. Should we be worried?

Fletch says:

I've got an ax to grind with these UFOs flying in a straight line. This really winds me up.

The UFOs are actually the new and exciting StarLink, which is a group of 60 satellites (eventually 12,000) launched by SpaceX, which will offer global internet access, even in the middle of the ocean.

I went to a Chicago rooftop to photograph these things. How boring? A straight line of "stars." Is it too much to ask for a V-shape like geese, or a fighter jet formation, or script Ohio? Apparently, no one at SpaceX has ever seen a marching band.

Then, I thought, no one lives in the middle of the ocean. Nobody does. They don't need internet. In fact, some people enjoy going to remote areas to escape. It's called, going off the grid. And, what kind of name is StarLink anyway? Did Chris Pratt come up with it?

But, to answer the question posed, we have absolutely nothing to worry about from a global satellite internet system, except a Terminator Skynet doomsday scenario with AI drones hunting us down using the worldwide global positioning system that we developed or the Independence Day complete world destruction and takeover by space aliens using our global internet communications grid. On second thought, you should be a little worried.

Fletcher Jain is a fictional character in Druids are from OuterSpace, Aliens are from England. Get your copy today.


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